THE NAIVE MOTHER

Pope the Polack is on a pilgrimage in Calcutta where he makes an official visit to Mother Theresa's orphanage.

Mother Theresa is showing him around, and the Polack is bending and kissing everything in sight. Suddenly, as he bends over to kiss Mother Theresa's pride and joy, the new church organ, the pope recoils in terror. There, stretched out across the top of the organ, is a big, black condom.

Purple with rage, Pope the Polack demands an explanation.

"Well," says the Mother, "one of my orphans found it in a package on the street, and when I read the label it said: 'Place on organ and feel secure.'"